Interesting Conversation with Know Better Americans

We are in South America for a while. I work from home there 🙂 Ya, be jealous. We met know better gringos.

Yesterday, for Juneteenth, we decided to have an early lunch in one of our favorite places – be VERY jealous (see picture at the bottom).

Our waiter asked if we could help a gringo couple as they didn’t speak a single Portuguese word. We moved next to their table and greeted each other.

We discussed how beautiful the country is, how poor people look (my wife bit her tongue), and how dirty the city is. I changed the discussion to food, and things went better.

UNTIL…

Them: After lunch, we are going walking toward the sun, south.
Me: it will be North.
Them: lol… where are you from? The sun never goes to the North.
Me: We are in the Southern Hemisphere…
Them: It doesn’t matter…have you not been to school?
Me showing my iWatch compass, you see North…
Them: lol, your watch is reversed because of the magnetic field of the poles…
Me: the WHAT?
Them: You certainly didn’t setup your watch correctly; there are many YouTube videos to teach you how to do it.
Them: You shouldn’t talk about subjects you don’t comprehend and use technology you don’t understand.
Me: …
Them: The best not to look stupid is to keep your mouth shut (they use those words)
They left going North… or their South, lol

The local couple on our left was smiling and started asking questions:

Couple: Quem são essas pessoas? Let me translate: Who are those people?
Us: They are typical “Know better gringos” – they know everything, and even if you show them, they always find an excuse to justify their knowledge/understanding.
Couple: Oh, that’s the poles’ magnetic fields reversing your watch…
Us: Exactly! These know better people cannot handle the truth, and if you try to show them… lol

Who are Know Better People?

Oh, the enlightening company of “know better people.” You know, the kind—the walking encyclopedias with a knack for unsolicited advice and a talent for sucking the joy out of every conversation or lunch-time.

Because, honestly, what would I do without their ever-so-constructive criticism? Maybe feel a tad bit happier or, heaven forbid, learn from my own mistakes.

But no, let’s all just bask in the glory of their vast wisdom and unparalleled insight.

Fun times.

Oh, Know Better People, where would the world be without your unwavering dedication to unsolicited advice that can be totally wrong? Let’s all take a moment to appreciate how absolutely necessary it is for you to enlighten us with your endless fountain of superior knowledge.

Don’t we all just adore how you swoop into conversations, brandishing your expert opinions like some sort of intellect superhero?

Spoiler alert: we don’t.

It’s utterly fantastic how you bring out the worst in everyone by pointing out their life choices’ mishaps because, clearly, if we followed your every word, we’d all be living in some sort of utopian dreamland. Thank goodness you’re here to save us from our own pitiful ignorance! Seriously, where would we be without your smothering guidance? Probably a lot happier and a lot more confident.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Ah, convincing those omniscient beings who seem to know the secrets of the universe that they might, just might, be wrong? Mission: Im-freaking-possible! It’s like trying to convince a fish to take up skydiving or getting a cat to write an apology letter.

They are perpetually perched on their pedestals of infinite wisdom, looking down at us mere mortals with a condescending smile. Why bother? If they don’t listen to cold, hard evidence or a barrage of logical arguments, maybe just strap in for the comedy show. Because at the end of the day, sometimes the best way to win is not to play.